Dale Jr

Ralph Dale Earnhardt Jr. (also known as NASCAR Jesus, Joonyer, Junebug, Ralphie and pretty much any other name that an extremely intoxicated individual came come up with during lap 100 of a race when he is running 15th) is an American Stock Car Driver who is the son of Dale Earnhardt Sr. therefore he never had to actually earn a ride in his entire life. He is a 2-time Daytona 500 winner and 0-time champion. He is well know for his devoted fan base of highly civilized individuals with Number 8 Budweiser tattoos they can't afford to update

The Prophet is Born
Joonyer was born Oct 10, 1974 to our lord father Dale Sr. and his irrelevant mother who is no way married his dad for the money. He grew up in his dads shadow which was more like a marketing spotlight with adamant followers counting the days until their lord messiah could get behind the wheel of a Stock car. He has a sister who is supposedly more talented than him, but that's no great achievement

The Messiah enters the Holy Sport
After a few years of Racing in the Extended Optional Cup Practice Series graduated (not from 5th grade) into the Esteemed Cup Series to race alongside his Daddy to the tears of his Fan base. With a breakthrough win in the All Star Race he began his Cup career with unnatural non-mediocrity

Dale after The passing of our Lord Father
After the tragic death of our Lord Dale Sr. Dale Jr. slipped into win every race at Talladega mode but over all had a general air of mediocrity. Along with teammate and 99% out of the closet fame hag Michael Waltrip he kept Theresa Earnhardts Gold Digger Reward in the land of mediocrity making the majority of their money off for Dale Jr. Merchandise.

Dale Jr. Converts to the Enemy
After years of fighting his step mom for a stake in her Reward Dale decided to do the last thing anyone expected he signed on with Hendrick Motorsports the same team that Jeff Gordon Races. The NASCAR community went into a panic worrying that their tattoos would no longer work and that they may even have to switch from drinking Bud. Finally after a long wait his new number was announced to be the 88 so his severely intoxicated fans could walk into the Tattoo shop and request a double to update.

The switch to Hendrick turned into a huge lull in Dale's already lack luster career. He went over a year without winning a single race. When he finally managed to win again at Michigan International Speedway his fans were literally in tears of joy claiming he won it and it was his daddy helping him win. Though they never admitted that his daddy's name was the biggest help

The Messiah Rises
In 2014 after a lull where he could only manage a few good finishes Dale brought his whole fan base to tears again by winning his 2nd Daytona 500. His PR immediately made a twitter account and had dale text them a few selfies from time to time in order to make his gullible fans think he was actually tweeting.

2014 turned out to be one of Dale's best seasons with multiple wins but he managed to disappoint his fan's in the usually fashion by getting eliminated early in the NASCAR yearly game of charades

Mental Disability
Dale Jr. is a confirmed special person. Nobody is sure which genetic Disorder he suffers from but the slurred speech and the fact that he is a 40 year old man wh0 acts like his is 21, leads many to deduce that he is likely afflicted with a from of brain damage.

His Social worker Amy Reimann claims to be his girlfriend in order to cover up the mental disability. No news as of yet on whether she is willing to make the full blown lie and marry Dale